-Na'ah! n0 g0oD =(-

REALITY

You just have to face it!

You see..I'm actually having a really hard time right now. It has been nearly half a year now. It was quite tough for me to get through all this. I tried my best so that it won't get on the way for me to move on with my studies. But unfortunately, I did bad. Well BAD! We both tried to make things better again, as what we used to be, but things are getting even worse now. I just couldn't stand it any longer. I made my decision and I am sure of it. Dear..I'm so SORRY. Honestly I do. I'm sorry I can't be that someone you want me to be and I'm sorry that I can't be perfect. Well, nobody's perfect anyways. I tried to make myself happy. Getting myself to smile every time, everywhere I go. Yea, EVERY TIME I say.. When ever people ask me about him, I will tell just the good things about him. Good things about us. Well, not saying that he ain't no good, he's a charming one actually. Maybe because of the situations that made us like this.

What could be the initial cause? Well, it's complicated actually. Everything seems wrong to him. He seems like blaming on me all the time. But then, I'm not blaming him for that. There are things that I did wrong and there are also things that he did wrong too. Well, those mistakes made probably because we care about each other much. I don't know. Love life is actually not that simple. There are good and there are bad. It's never that easy. Things will not always come to what we expected. Love for me is a suicide. For the memory of love is sweet, though the love itself were in vain. And what I have lost of pleasure, ease what I find of pain.

Love, love, love -- all the wretched cant of it, masking egotism, lust, masochism, fantasy under a mythology of sentimental postures, a welter of self-induced miseries and joys, blinding and masking the essential personalities in the frozen gestures of courtship, in the kissing and the dating and the desire, the compliments and the quarrels which vivify its barrenness.

I Miss You - Nothing is yet over Sweetheart

p/s: Babe...If you ever read this, don't mention a thing to him k. Thanks =)